PROTECTING CHILDREN FROM SEXUAL ABUSE
Sexual abuse of children may include sexual touching, masturbation, intercourse, indecent exposure, use of children in or showing children pornographic films or pictures, encouraging or forcing children into prostitution or encouraging or forcing children to witness sexual acts. Children and young people of all ages can be victims of abuse.
Children are more likely to be sexually abused by someone they know, including relatives and family friends, than by a stranger. Children may have confused feelings if they are being abused by someone they trust. They may not realise that what is being done to them is abuse.
An abuser may target girls or boys or prefer children of a particular age. Child sex abusers often appear kind, concerned and caring towards children in order to build close relationships with them. They may observe a child and spend a long time building up the 'friendship'. They may form a relationship with a single parent in order to get access to the children.
Sexual abuse of children may include sexual touching, masturbation, intercourse, indecent exposure, use of children in or showing children pornographic films or pictures, encouraging or forcing children into prostitution or encouraging or forcing children to witness sexual acts. Children and young people of all ages can be victims of abuse.
Child sex abusers may spend a lot of time building the relationship before the abuse begins. This often results in the child trusting and becoming dependent on them. This is called grooming. The abuser may seem to be a safe and reassuring figure. He may also convince himself that he is doing no harm to the children.
As the child becomes more dependent on the abuser, and in order to keep the abuse secret, the abuser will use the child's natural fear, embarrassment or guilt about what is happening to make the child keep quiet. A child who talks and shares his/her feelings with parents and others is less likely to become dependent on a single abusing adult.
In most cases it should be the abuser, rather than the child, who is removed from the family home. However, this will depend on whether a criminal charge is brought against the abuser and there is a conviction, or if the court decides that your child needs to be under the care of your local Social Welfare Dept in a Place of Safety. Priority must be given to your child's long-term safety and well-being.
http://www.aaets.org/arts/art31.htm
General information regarding sexual abuse
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Domestic violence is not acceptable - ever!
Domestic violence affects people of every class, age, race, disability, and sexuality. The violence can begin at any stage of a relationship and may continue after the relationship has ended.
It's usually women who are at the receiving end of domestic violence, and it is often men who are responsible. The violence may involve physical abuse, sexual assault and threats. Sometimes it's more subtle, like making someone feel worthless; not letting them have any money; or not allowing them to leave the home. Social isolation and emotional abuse as well as physical violence can have long-lasting effects.
Here are some examples of how children can be affected by domestic violence:
It's really important to take some action to protect yourself and your children. You may worry that seeking help means your children will be taken away by the Social Welfare Department. This is very rare and only happens in the most serious cases. Talk to your children about how they feel.
You may be experiencing violence at home, but you may want to stay with the person and try to sort out some of the problems. There are professionals who can offer counselling. Please contact SHELTER and we may be able to put you in touch with someone who can help.
Victims of domestic violence may be frightened that if they seek help the violence will get worse. However, you have the right to be protected and live in a safe environment with your children.
If you do decide to leave your spouse, there are places where you and your children can go to in an emergency. For example, Women's Aid Organization offers a safe refuge and ongoing support to families fleeing domestic violence. You can contact them at 603-79563488.
DRUG AND ALCOHOL ABUSE
Drug and alcohol abuse by parents can have a serious effect on their children. Though not all parents who abuse drugs or alcohol mistreat or neglect their children, sometimes, the children can be put at considerable risk.
If you are a parent and you feel your ability to care for your children is affected by drug or alcohol abuse, you should see your doctor as soon as possible. He or she will be able to refer you to other professionals who specialise in drug and alcohol problems. The important thing is that you should get help as soon as possible.
It's really important to take some action to protect yourself and your children. You may worry that seeking help means your children will be taken away by the Social Welfare Department. This is very rare and only happens in the most serious cases. Talk to your children about how they feel.
You may be experiencing violence at home, but you may want to stay with the person and try to sort out some of the problems. There are professionals who can offer counselling. Please contact SHELTER and we may be able to put you in touch with someone who can help.
LEAVING CHILDREN AT HOME ALONE
There is no law in Malaysia that states the minimum age that a child can be left alone at home. However, it is an offence to leave a child alone when doing so puts him or her at risk.
There are many important things to consider before you decide to leave a child alone. These include:
When deciding to use a babysitter remember to:
SURFING SAFETY
Chat rooms and messaging can be great fun, but remember, you never really know who you are talking to online. It could be someone trying to trick you, some kind of weirdo, or someone really dangerous.
Here are some tips to help you keep safe:
MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS
Chat rooms and messaging can be great fun, but remember, you never really know who you are talking to online. It could be someone trying to trick you, some kind of weirdo, or someone really dangerous.
Here are some tips to help you keep safe:
Many mentally ill parents can care for their children despite being unwell. But for some, their illness can affect their ability to give the children all they need to grow and develop, both physically and emotionally.
Occasionally, children are at risk of suffering significant harm because of their parents' illness. In this situation, it may be necessary for a child to be looked after in a "Place of Safety", under the direction of the Social Welfare Department.
If you think you may have a mental health problem or you are worried about someone else suffering from it, it is very important to contact your doctor so that you can get help, advice and treatment.
Postnatal depression is a very common problem
Children can have mental health problems too - between 10 - 20% of children and young people under 18 have experienced such problems. This can be very distressing for the child, parents and family. Like adults, they can vary from common disorders to serious mental illnesses.
If you're worried about your child, contact your doctor. It is also often helpful to talk with teachers and other professional people who know your child. They may be able to give you help and advice.
Children can have mental health problems too - between 10 - 20% of children and young people under 18 have experienced such problems. This can be very distressing for the child, parents and family. Like adults, they can vary from common disorders to serious mental illnesses.
If you're worried about your child, contact your doctor. It is also often helpful to talk with teachers and other professional people who know your child. They may be able to give you help and advice.
PARENTING
Traditionally, the family focus is on the mother-child relationship and it is easy for dads to feel a bit left out. To help dads with their crucial parenting role, we have listed the following useful tips:
Many parents say their children play the most important part in their lives. They bring joy and laughter. But being a parent isn't always easy. It can be challenging and exhausting. At such times parents who are normally loving and caring can find themselves 'losing it' and hitting their children.
Most parents think hitting children is not right, yet, in times of stress, anger or frustration, they find themselves lashing out. But many feel guilty afterwards and want to find better ways of handling difficult behaviour.
The following techniques work with any child, regardless of temperament, background, culture or tradition. They build on a child's natural wish to please you, and will ensure a happier child and less stressed parents.
Babies behave as they do to get their needs met. When they cry or don't sleep, they are not doing this to be 'naughty' or to wind you up.
Working at positive discipline takes a lot of energy. No parent can do it perfectly all the time. All parents have behaved in ways they regret - shouting or smacking. If it happens, say you are sorry, make up and try again. This teaches children a valuable lesson.
Parents may believe there are occasions when only a smack will do. For example, your child is really cheeky and disobedient; your toddler runs into the road; or one of your children bites a playmate. It can be tempting to think a smack sorts out these incidents quickly, but it does nothing to teach your child how you want him to behave. Instead, it:
These days we know a great deal more about why children behave as they do, and about the effects of smacking. Our parents did the best they could at the time. Modern parents choose parenting without the pain, for child or adults.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/parenting/ (Comprehensive BBC website with a wealth of material relating to parenting with links to other websites)
RUNNING AWAY
Thousands of children under sixteen run away from home every year. One in eight young people have been physically hurt and one in nine have been sexually assaulted whilst away from home.
Young people who have run away or are thinking about it may do so because they are being bullied, having relationship (or sex) problems, or may be lonely. They may be having trouble with their parents or think they're about to be thrown out. They could be living in fear. They could be facing abuse.
